Missing a step - The crutches
It is the perfect plan; I finish my job, I move out of my apartment on July 30th, I hand over the keys on July 31st, I go out with friends and boyfriend to see the majestic fireworks in Basel that night and the next day I leave for my 1-year travel adventure.
There is a turn in the story and an unexpected change of plans. As I walk with my boyfriend Inayat and friends along the crowded Rhine and down the stairs to find the best spot to sit, I miss the last step and fall, twisting my ankle. I stay on the ground for some time, feeling a burn in the ankle and the opposite knee. Is this real? Did I just twist my ankle and disable myself from walking on the night before my departure on my 1-year trip? Let's wait for a bit and see if after sitting during the fireworks I can walk. But I can't without it hurting alot. Luckily the spot where I fell is conveniently very close to the emergency room. Inayat encouraged me and helped to get there, pushing the wheelchair I got when arriving. It feels so weird and helpless to be pushed on a wheelchair! We spent the next 5 hours there, I am so grateful he stayed by my side the whole time, waiting for my turn and for the x-ray and the final doctor's visit. We left with the good news that nothing was broken. And crutches!
So, with crutches, I decide to take off for my first stop anyways: Schumacher College in the UK countryside. The journey is much more difficult than I thought. As a non-experienced crutches-user, I had clearly underestimated the strength needed to 'walk' and overestimated the speed. It is now down to 1/4th of the normal speed. Luckily, other people know that better than I do and offer lots of help. In train stations, the personal even offers mobility assistance, which I never thought I would need until I realized my arms and back are not strong enough yet to hold my whole weight. Imagine having to do non-stop push-ups. For the first time, I am in a wheelchair in a public place, the feeling is very strange, quite some shame or embarrassment. I realize I need a lot more humility than I thought and acceptance of the situation as it is. I will need to practice accepting being dependent on others with this injury right now.
There is a turn in the story and an unexpected change of plans. As I walk with my boyfriend Inayat and friends along the crowded Rhine and down the stairs to find the best spot to sit, I miss the last step and fall, twisting my ankle. I stay on the ground for some time, feeling a burn in the ankle and the opposite knee. Is this real? Did I just twist my ankle and disable myself from walking on the night before my departure on my 1-year trip? Let's wait for a bit and see if after sitting during the fireworks I can walk. But I can't without it hurting alot. Luckily the spot where I fell is conveniently very close to the emergency room. Inayat encouraged me and helped to get there, pushing the wheelchair I got when arriving. It feels so weird and helpless to be pushed on a wheelchair! We spent the next 5 hours there, I am so grateful he stayed by my side the whole time, waiting for my turn and for the x-ray and the final doctor's visit. We left with the good news that nothing was broken. And crutches!
So, with crutches, I decide to take off for my first stop anyways: Schumacher College in the UK countryside. The journey is much more difficult than I thought. As a non-experienced crutches-user, I had clearly underestimated the strength needed to 'walk' and overestimated the speed. It is now down to 1/4th of the normal speed. Luckily, other people know that better than I do and offer lots of help. In train stations, the personal even offers mobility assistance, which I never thought I would need until I realized my arms and back are not strong enough yet to hold my whole weight. Imagine having to do non-stop push-ups. For the first time, I am in a wheelchair in a public place, the feeling is very strange, quite some shame or embarrassment. I realize I need a lot more humility than I thought and acceptance of the situation as it is. I will need to practice accepting being dependent on others with this injury right now.
I smiled before knowing: it is actually much harder than it seems to walk with crutches!
The dark staircase where I fell, just before the fireworks
Beautiful yet harmful, my last fireworks?
I love train journeys, always the moment when I write in my journal the most.
Brave girl! All the very best for this exploration and looking forward to your stories.
ReplyDelete