Saying goodbye to Blue - tragic first day back

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March 17th. It all started as a usual morning at home at my Mom's. The first thing I do when I wake up is go see Blue. He sleeps in the kitchen and loves when we come to open the door in the morning, he stretches and jumps on his cat-tower and rolls around for cuddles.

But after a while I heard him in one of the rooms meowing, which is weird because this cat never meows. As I came closer to him, he was also hissing at me. So strange, had never seen him like this. As he tried to move to the other side of the room, I realize he his back legs were dragging on the floor... he was half paralyzed! And he seemed to be in real shock and stress about what was happening to him. He was so panicked that he was crawling around the house meowing in despair. 

I only got an appointment at the vet a few hours later and was initially thinking this will pass and he can be back to normal again. But my friend Annie told me the same thing happened to her cat in the past and she had to put him down that same day. Nooooo. I went to check on Blue, yes indeed his paws had already gone really cold. Couldn't believe it. We would have to lose him that same day.

At least this conversation with Annie helped me realize what was going on and then take the time to say goodbye and prepare myself mentally and emotionally for the loss before it actually happened. It didn't remove the pain but at least I had a few hours more with him. The vet confirmed it was an aortic thromboembolism (ATE), a blood clot blocking circulation, most probably caused by his heart murmur, and the only thing to do would be to put him down and alleviate his pain. 

It was all a very painful experience and I was crying most of the day and the following days. Luckily we have a garden and I could take him back to bury him, dig his grave, place him there really gently and put flowers all around. The whole burial process definitely helped to process the event and make me feel like I took care of him until the end, even though I hadn't seen him in the past 6 months. 

What makes me sad is that he would have been so happy to have me back home and have company all day long during the whole quarantine time! We would have spend hours hanging out together. And of course he would have been the best quarantine buddy for me. 

He really loved to be around us, especially hanging out on the terrace, in the garden and in the evening sleeping on our lap. And he was my Mom's and the family's beloved pet that we all loved so much.

At least, he waited for me before he went. Blue, I miss you!




Saying goodbye

He really love to hang out with us and curl up right their in our arms

Blue-eyed Blue


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Location: Strasbourg, France

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